#24 Bunchers
Alrite Geez? Fancy taking a butcher's at mi blog? Well put your plates up, and make yourself at home...
Yes, it's true, I'm a cockney. Even though I'm not even from London, let alone the East End, let alone within the sound of the Bow Bells, "cockney" is the closest regional stereotype. As (Yorkshireman) Rob pointed out to me, anyone from the South is either cockney (East), or a tractor-driving, pasty-eating Cornish smuggler (West). It will therefore, be very interesting to see how my accent has changed when I get back home. The betting opens next week...
▪ Northern (Yorkshire): 3/1
▪ Cockney (South East): 5/1
▪ Scouse (North West): 10/1
▪ Brummy (Midlands): 30/1
▪ Cornish (South West): 50/1
I've also learnt several new words, most of which are completely made up. This week's new words:
buncher (noun) *
one who distributes bunches of jip:
"What an absolute buncher"
blinking flip (exclam) **
see: flippin' heck!
Saturday last week was a disaster. I attempted to go shopping (not one of my favourite pastimes anyway), but ended up walking round and round in circles, unable to find a single thing I wanted. Plus, being Saturday, it was packed full of people, and annoying Christmas promotions (of which more later). After eventually finding something to buy, I got it back to the room to find they'd left a great big security tag on the sleeve. Hence, I had to trudge all the way down to the city again on Tuesday to exchange the bloody thing.
Saturday night was cards night: I ended up teaching the others how to play "7s", and left with a sore forehead after playing some game involving slapping the afore-mentioned body part everytime a pair of matching cards appeared. The following game of "Snap" was not so violent, but by then the damage had been done, and I lost miserably.
Annoyingly, Christmas has already begun. Sadly, I missed the switching-on of the Sheffield Christmas lights on Sunday (attended by Postman Pat, Dick & Dom and G4 no less), but there's no missing the Christmas decorations that have already sprung up around the city. Even the canteen staff have started playing the Festive Remix CDs... it's not even December yet!!!
Skip a few days to last night, when we went on a pub crawl (of sorts) and ended up at the indie disco. Sadly, we missed the karaoke at the York, and we missed Yorkshire Rob's selections on the blatently-fixed Notty House jukebox, but we did get into the Leadmill before it closed. Which is always a bonus. Sadly, my lectures today have had to suffer with an attendance of "one-less-than-usual"...
Right, I'm fed up of writing now: cue some bullet points...
▪ Did you know? Eminem's debut single actually samples Chaz'n'Dave? It's true: the bassline that Mathers samples (called 'I Got The', available to listen to here) was actually performed by the cockney geezers themselves on instruments!!
▪ English is a truely universal langauge (very now select here)
▪ Thing that's wound me up the most this week: people who walk in groups of two or three and take up the whole width of the pavement, then, when the pavement gets wider, spread out, so that still no-one can get past them. Grr.
▪ George Bush is stupid (see here)
▪ And finally... girlfriends are useful, if only for carrying cameras
Elitist chant of the week:
(Sung by University of Sheffield students to Sheffield Hallam students)
"Your dad works for my dad"
Lyrics of the week:
"Patience is like bread, I'd say.
I ran out of that yesterday."
