Songs

Enjoying this week:
Hot Chip - 'Over And Over'
Delays - 'Valentine'
Sash! - 'Encore Une Fois'
Mark Ronson - 'Just'

Not sure about:
The Streets - 'When You Wasn't Famous'

Avoiding like the plague this week:
Sparks - 'Perfume'

#37 Ninjas, Scissors and Frisbees

We start with a teaser this week: Whilst in the South Seas pub a couple of weeks ago, we found a leaflet promoting "Cutting Edge" in Sheffield: but just what is "Cutting Edge"? Is it...
A: A hairdressers?
B: A new glam-rock club night?
C: A stage show put on by the drama soc?
D: None of the above?
answer below


Hello again. It's shaping up to be a pretty busy week this, erm... week, what with the uni work starting to pile up and increased demands on my time from avoiding said work.

Due to utter laziness last week, I actually spend a large chunk of last weekend doing work, or at least wading through our ridiculously large course pack. That was until Saturday night when it was down to the union to continue what appears to be a new trend: going and watching rather a lot of films. This week was the turn of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and there are a few more pencilled in for the next few weeks (I won't mention them here, because I realise now that I'll merely repeat the same information in next week's blog).

Number of pages in American Literature textbook: 956
Number set to read for seminars/lectures: 56


Sunday also saw the resurgence of another tradition, that of the Sunday Night Quiz Night. Alas, we've all but given up on the Notty House for any quizzage, so it was over to my New Favourite Pub, the South Seas for some wit-pitting action. The question master may not be up to Cax's standards, but the fiendishly difficult last round - all or nothing - and the alarmingly up-to-date questions seem designed to catch out us news-starved students. We didn't win, but we were close.

Legendary Cax Quote:
"The answer is, er... Zed Zed Top"


Kyra celebrated her birthday on Monday... people aware of my culinary tastes will be somewhat shocked but pleasantly surprised, I would hope, at the visit paid to Wokmania, the Chinesey restaurant on West Street. Highlights of the evening included back-to-back episodes of Takishi's Castle and Kyra's interesting ice cream concocktion.


On Tuesday I had my first Philosophy seminar. Our seminarer is called Bo, he's Danish, and he looks like Noel Edmonds. Having said that, he's very good at philosophy (in that we all left more confused than when we went in).


Who needs a slogan?
Vote for Logan.


Skipping quite quickly onto Wednesday, and it's evening: The Go! Team live at The Plug. Crazier than a barrel load of hallucinating monkeys on sherbet dip-dabs, they did not disappoint. From the beautiful 'Everyone's A VIP To Someone' to the simply mental 'Huddle Formation' and 'Ladyflash', the wonderful 'Hold Yr Terror Close' to one of my new favourites 'The Ice Storm'... it was a fantastic night. Ninja (the lead) wowed the crowd with her fantastic range: from rapping and toasting to melodic singing - and all within the same song - it was simply amazing. Plus we were treated to dancing from "Russia! India! Africa! Ireland! [and] ENGLAND!"...

I got the impression that many in the crowd didn't really know what The Go! Team were actually all about... I think that because the band are so respected in indie music circles, they were expecting your typical guitar band: the reason behind this thinking being the confusion/indifference/boredom on some faces, despite the fact the music was some of the most energetic silliness you're ever likely to see. I couldn't get down to the front, but I was moshing in my heart.


Thank you, thank you, thank you, BBC Two. For while you may not be up to the same standards as the frankly brilliant BBC Radio Player, you have put The Apprentice up to watch online. I've already developed a deep hatred for Syed, and the way he and Sam stitched up Ben this week was sickening. Not as bad as the tactics employed by the women's team, but still despicable. Roll on next week...


And finally...
▪ Virgin Megastore staff in Sheffield are surprisingly knowledgeable and helpful; ▪ Ranmoor Lawn Sport Of The Week: 1-man frisbee; ▪ 'Video Killed The Radio Star' is not - repeat, not - a Heart Club Classic; ▪ When the Go! Team lead marries Scally Tom, she'll be called Ninja Carlin(g); ▪ How to beat Ollie at pool: 5 pints


PS: The answer is D: Cutting Edge is in fact a self-harm support group.

Smile

Four things to smile about today

▪ I absolutely stormed my seminar this morning
▪ The fantastic Delays single Valentine is out today
▪ The old guy I stepped off the pavement to make way for actually said "Thanks"
▪ Our rooms have finally been cleaned!!!

Macclesfield

The burning question of the last few weeks has been "Macclesfield: is it in the North, or the Midlands?"

The correct answer, of course, is the Midlands, but this has been disputed by some Macclesfolk desperate not to be bunched in with the Brummies. Which is understandable, but wrong.

INCORRECT - note how daft the line looks as it kinks around Cheshire (where Macclesfield lies)

CORRECT - the map now looks far neater and it actually makes sense

#36 Blog wars

The warning shots have been fired... the stakes have been raised... The gauntlet has hit the floor. In a Thatcher-like move, this blog now faces stiff competition from its rivals (possibly in an attempt to improve the quality of choice for you, the consumer) (but probably not). Welcome, therefore to the new, all-singing, all-dancing Thursday blog.


We're already in week 2 here at Sheffield, and whilst that may annoy those of you that have been snowed under with work since New Year's Day, at least your family haven't been gloating to you that they are currently enjoying half-term this week. Despite the fact they're only doing mildly interesting things anyway (paintballing aside), it's till hugely preferable to the extremely tedious Renaissance English and Philosophy lectures that I've had to sit through this week...

Highlight of this week's lectures:
A discussion on the staple diet of moon-elephants
(it's cheese, obviously)


A fairly busy weekend (compared to my usual routine of sleeping off the week) was kicked off last Friday, down Ranmoor Bar (where else?) and celebrating Alice's Birthday. Although not celebrating the big "1-9" until Saturday, the bar was sadly all booked up for it's Valentine's Day special. That'll be the "Pimps & Hookers" party then. For fairly blatant reasons, this didn't really appeal so instead that night was set aside for a decent round of takeaway food...

Number of VK Cherrys needed to get Alice drunk
: ¼


Saturday day was taken up watching the rugby -- what with it being the one month that everyone is interested in egg-chasing -- and Saturday night spent down at the Union for Pop Tarts. Well, it makes a change from the same 30 indie songs being played at the Leadmill and any chance to dance to all the 1980s classics should never be passed up. In a moment of clear thinking that Mr Croasdell would be proud of, my "warm-up" music for the night was from none other than Heart's Club Classics. Oh yes.

It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy
I've got the power!!

How do you follow that display of high culture? Well with an arty Spanish film of course, and so I was down the fantastic Union cinema on Sunday night for Y Tu Mamá También ... plans to go and see Sophie Scholl were scuppered by my inability to read a clock (whoops) but with any luck, those skills will return and get me to Tim Burton's Corpse Bride on Saturday.


Adjective of the week:
Volcanic


And now, in order to fulfil this blog's new-found public service remit... the rest of this week's gwanings in bullet-point form

▪ The eagerly-awaited new and improved! Supertrams have arrived... the new and improvement stemming from the fact they've been painted blue; ▪ If you're a songwriter and your tune gets played on Channel 4, you get £14.69 in royalties... but if it gets played on ITV1, you get £52.36!; ▪ 3 actually pay you for receiving calls and texts now; ▪ Three things I miss from home: my car (I really want to go out for a drive), gas ovens (because they actually cook food properly), and Jazz FM (because I've got its jingle stuck in my head... but I can't remember how it ends); ▪ I've bought tickets this week to go and see noise-making nutcases The Go! Team for next week and indie rock gods Maxïmo Park for October (well, it gives me something to come back for); ▪ ...and bagged myself a new MP3 player for just £20 (I love Richer Sounds!)

Sad news story of the week: Simon (the sarcastic Jewish one) and erm... the other one have both left Popworld - probably because the producers were finding it increasingly difficult to get bands to appear on the show because it was seen as too nasty. This is the same week that Smash Hits magazine prints its last issue because it was too nice.


Here endeth the battle. See you again next week when I can conscript some more random bilge.

#35 Nightmares

You'll be glad to know that I've finally had to get down to some work this week, so I'm now on (slightly) more level ground with those of you who have been slaving away since January. This has meant spending the week being introduced to all my lecturers and seminarers, some of whom fit very nicely into the genre of "slightly-crackpot".

In no particular order then, here's a quick "what else I've been up to this last week..."

Been and watched the rugby... after a slightly shaky first half, England looked far more convincing in the second, and soundly beat the Welsh on Saturday. This was satisfying not just because England had won, but also because the 3 Welshmen in the pub were severely regretting cheering so loudly before half-time. Final score: England 47 - 13 Wales

Saturday was also Christina's birthday (Χρονια Πολλα!). To celebrate, dinner was down at Las Iguanas in town. Not wanting to waste the opportunity to eat a decent meal for a change, it was a tough decision between chicken (safe option, but hearty) or something a little more adventurous (you only live once, etc). Needless to say the chicken won.

The notion that Sunday night is quiz night was also subject to further disruption this week. Not only was there no sign of the Caxmeister, but even the bar-staff seemed unsure as to his whereabouts... I fear his last chance may have expired, as next Sunday I'll be off down the union to see "Y Tu Mamá También"...

It would be criminal to come all the way up to Sheffield and not see one of their teams play, so we head down to Bramall Lane on Monday night to see the Blades take on Watford. Being used to non-league football, it was strange to be watching a game from an altitude of more than 2 feet, but the atmosphere was superb - especially considering the game was live on Sky Sports. Along with about 20,000 other people, we saw 5 goals, a fight, a red card, several yellows, The Worst Application Of The Off-Side Rule Ever™ and, last but also least, Ade Akinbiyi. Final score: Sheffield United 1 - 4 Watford

Which rekindled the "where is the Midlands?" argument: we know the South starts below Watford Gap, and the North starts just below Sheffield, but where does the line go? Hmmm...


Random other stuff:

▪ Bought a saucepan and new mug (for hot lemonade, of course); ▪ Got a haircut that I'm not happy with (but then never am); ▪ Watched TV again! Chelsea's 4-1 win over Everton; ▪ Explained that Chelsea is a place, and it's in London; ▪ Sampled the delights of Pink Floyd - 'Bike'; ▪ Given someone the nick-name Rock Lobster; ▪ Heard how everyone seems to be having nightmares this week

Islam vs Cartoons

In an attempt to be serious for a moment, here is my two-penny's worth on the Prophet Mohammed cartoon saga. The reason being the fact that this is one of very few news stories that I can't actually make up my mind about.

In September last year, right-wing Danish newspaper Morgenavisen Jyllandsposten printed a series of twelve cartoons, some depicting the Prophet Mohammed. More than this, the cartoons depicted him as a terrorist: one of the most striking shows his turban as a comedy-style bomb. The point was not to dismiss all Muslims as terrorists, merely to remind us that Islam is not squeaky-clean: we support them as we do any faith in a fight against terrorism, but their views do not tally with ours: extreme repression of women is just one example.

That aside, to Muslims, any representation of Mohammed is strictly forbidden and therefore highly disrespectful. We could argue, then, that the people to blame here are the reporters and editor of Morgenavisen Jyllandsposten. In such a politically volatile world, taking a step such is this seems designed to merely provoke a reaction.

But the publication of these cartoons broke no law: in a free society, why can't these pictures be printed? In theory, to the "neutral", what makes these pictures any different from a cartoon of God? Or Jesus? Or the Buddha? Or the one with loads of arms? We live in a society where the press has complete freedom of expression, after all. Morally, the decision is less sound: of course, we should still be respectful to other cultures.

Here's where the tale gets ugly. Sensing an opportunity to stir up trouble, the cartoons quickly found their way over to the Middle East and other prominent-Muslim nations. Indeed...

"Last November, Abu Laban, a 60-year-old Palestinian who had served as translator and assistant to top Gamaa Islamiya leader Talaal Fouad Qassimy during the mid-1990s and has been connected by Danish intelligence to other Islamists operating in the country, put together a delegation that travelled to the Middle East to discuss the issue of the cartoons with senior officials and prominent Islamic scholars. The delegation met with Arab League Secretary Amr Moussa, Grand Imam of Al-Azhar Sheikh Mohammad Sayyed Tantawi, and Sunni Islam’s most influential scholar, Yusuf al Qaradawi. “We want to internationalize this issue so that the Danish government will realize that the cartoons were insulting, not only to Muslims in Denmark, but also to Muslims worldwide,” said Abu Laban.

On its face, it would appear as if nothing were wrong. However, the Danish Muslim delegation showed much more than the 12 cartoons published by Jyllands Posten. In the booklet it presented during its tour of the Middle East, the delegation included other cartoons of Mohammed that were highly offensive, including one where the Prophet has a pig face. But these additional pictures were NOT published by the newspaper, but were completely fabricated by the delegation and inserted in the booklet (which has been obtained and made available to me by Danish newspaper Ekstra Bladet). The delegation has claimed that the differentiation was made to their interlocutors, even though the claim has not been independently verified. In any case, the action was a deliberate malicious and irresponsible deed carried out by a notorious Islamist who in another situation had said that “mockery against Mohamed deserves death penalty.” And in a quintessential exercise in taqiya, Abu Laban has praised the boycott of Danish goods on al-Jazeera, while condemning it on Danish TV." - Source


The Saudi Arabian ambassador is recalled from Denmark after the government there refuses to apologise. The newspaper later apologies, and the Prime Minister applauds this but (rightly) maintains: how is the government responsible for what a newspaper based in its country?? Bomb threats are sent to the newspaper's offices.

Danish - and bizarrely, other Scandinavian - companies were boycotted. Muslims stopped buying Lurpak Spreadable in their droves. So much so, Arla Foods went out of business in the region, and were forced to lay off all 100 staff: their sales actually hit zero.

Madness ensues. We get to January, and French newspaper France Soir publishes the pictures to show people what all the fuss was about. Within a day, the editor has been fired. Publications in Germany, Italy and Holland also re-print the photos. So far, their only appearance in Britain has been in a wide-angled shot on BBC News 24. Of course they are all available online, but I have chosen not to publish them here.

You might be able to find them at http://face-of-muhammed.blogspot.com though.


Yesterday, the European Union's office in Gaza was surrounded by masked gunmen. Were they prepared to kill?

Reporters Without Borders said the reaction in the Arab world "betrays a lack of understanding" of press freedom as "an essential accomplishment of democracy." Muslim groups argue that the cartoons simply reinforce incorrect stereotypical views of the Islamic faith - which they do, and I agree with this view whole-heartedly. I'm still torn, however, over whether they should have been published or not.

France Soir's front cover carried the headline "Yes, we have the right to caricature God". The cartoon below shows a number of gods sitting on a cloud, with the Christian god telling Mohammed that they've all had to put up with it in the past. I can't help finding this funny (for a French joke, anyway) but also worry it completely misses the point.

Yes, we must respect the views of others: but should that be at the expense of freedom? The freedom to - dare I say it - criticize an oppressive regime?

#34 Entertainment-drama phenomenon

Considering I've not actually had anything to do this week, it's been quite a busy one...

Way back last Friday, we journeyed across to Centertainment (see what they've done there?) and the Cineworld in particular to see Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon's latest film, "A Cock & Bull Story". Unfortunately for a comedy, the funny parts were both unintentional, and few and far between:

▪ The trailers before the film started
▪ The mere appearance of David Walliams on screen
▪ The womb scene (you have to see it, really)
▪ The numpty who dived into the revolving doors of the cinema, only to go head first into the pane in front of him and get stuck in a Superman-esque position with everyone looking at him


Alas, a far superior British comedy was being shown on Saturday night at the Union's cinema... "Wallace & Grommit and The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit". Now that really was good: it ripped off so many other films, and used some rabbit-related jokes that even I'd steer clear of, but was genuinely fantastic. It's nice to be able to spot all the jokes that aren't aimed at the children, too...

Still reeling from our disappointment with Cax, and in search of a cheap boozer, Pubs Visited This Week include The Fox & Duck - home to witnessing one of the greatest advertisements for Premiership football (that'll be West Ham's game against Fulham) - and the newly-discovered South Seas. The latter being useful for the afore-mentioned Tom to demonstrate his erm... unique pool-playing ability.

This week also saw the very-unwelcome return of the feature
Number of people I've mortally offended this week... The answer is 1.


On a not-that-unrelated topic, my membership of Facebook has yielded some interesting results. For now, I have had friend invitations from not only people I'm not that likely to speak to ever again (because they're at different unis), but also people from my own university who I've never met before in my life. I remain unconvinced by the thing, but have at least joined a group campaigning for "food" to be served in our canteen.


Random other stuff...

▪ Got far too drunk as a result of no early-morning starts this week; ▪ Sticking up possibly the greatest set of postcards I've ever seen onto my wall; ▪ Watched not only Countdown, but Deal Or No Deal and Richard & Judy in a single-sitting; ▪ Getting embroiled in a debate over the Prophet Mohammed cartoon row; ▪ Buying a funky new speaker for my laptop